Official Book Trailer

What it’s about. . . 

Beyond Messy Relationships is an intense and dramatic memoir with a mixture of psychological wisdom and spiritual inspiration. Judy brings hope through her formula of breathing fresh AIR: Awareness, Intentionality, and Risks. Forgive and remember the messes beyond divorce, betrayal, abortion, single-parenting, and toxic relationships.

Will her marriage survive the trauma of his illness? Will her counseling practice survive the chaos? 

  • Discover you’re not alone.
  • Learn a simple formula to becoming the best version of yourself.
  • Connect the dots from your past to your present to cultivate peace and harmony. 
  • Overcome shame to experience the freedom you long for.
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Beyond Messy Relationships is top 10 finalist for Best Memoir

“In this uncommonly honest book, Judy Herman—a marriage and leadership counselor—reveals the faltering moves that lead to fatigue, struggle, and denial of reality, as well as the vibrant rhythms that create lasting joy, even in the midst of the sometimes-cacaphonous tones that life throws our way. Beyond Messy Relationships  could just as easily be titled Within Messy Relationships, teaching us good boundaries, open-handed permeability, and listening for the grace notes as we waltz through the dance of life. Highly recommended for anyone married or otherwise in a meaningful partnership!”

~Mike Morrell,  Collaborating author with Fr. Richard Rohr The Divine Dance

Available wherever books are sold.


“In Beyond Messy Relationships, Judy Herman has done something remarkable as a marriage counselor in applying the wisdom of her practice to her own relationships, through all their travails and triumphs. With grace and courage, she has answered the question that we have all wondered at one point another: What’s my therapist think about all this? And there is so much to learn in the answer.”

“Judy does what every great leader must do: she goes to the hard places before asking others to do the same. Through her empathy and vulnerability, she gives us all permission to be ourselves in this insightful book about relationships. If you want to wake up to a deeper and better way of living and relating to people, read this book.”

Breathe in fresh AIR: Awareness, Intentionality, and Risks

“Judy Herman has written a book that allows the reader into the most intimate workings of the human heart. But not only that. She also shows us how to work with and through life’s big dilemmas. A book of great honesty, as well as help, it was written for us all.”

“All living is relationship. Relationships are messy when we imagine a self in relation to another rather than awaken to the truth that there is no self without other and no other without self. Judy Herman’s Beyond Messy Relationships is a divine invitation to realize this truth. The book is told through her eyes. Let it resonate in your heart.”

Therapists, Clergy and Leaders

Become more equipped in helping those with complex issues

Professors and Counseling Students

Get real world insight and preparation for dealing with personal and professional crisis

Empty Nesters & Life Transitions

Discover insights into your authentic self and relationships

For those in Recovery & Repair Mode

Forgive and Remember – Breathe in fresh AIR for Awareness, Intentionality, and Risk growth.

You’ve scrolled this far. Congratulations!  Already, I’m touched by your curiosity. For years, I’ve considered moments like this “divine appointments.” It takes a lot of courage for anyone when they call or schedule an appointment with me. But this is neither. Yet, you’ve read this far. For you to take the time, is still a connection I feel. And I’m wondering if even reading this may be the next right thing for you.

This my first time to author a published book. And to be transparent with you, I learned a lot that I thought I already knew. Something new for me is this. I DO believe authors and readers have a unique connection.

And I want to tell you, Thank you. Your life and relationships are worth the journey to know how deeply loved you really are.


Judy Herman