One afternoon, I sat on the couch in my therapist’s office,
trying to get perspective on my marital situation. “I try so hard not to add to his stress. I can sense when his irritability might spiral into another bipolar episode. You know he nearly died in an auto accident in between those two hospitalizations last time.”
I continued, “In his right mind, he’s so gentle, kind-hearted. But important conversations go sideways. I don’t know if he can’t listen… or just won’t.”
She paused, then looked at me and said, “Judy, you have a tremendous amount of loyalty and stick-to-it-iveness. I know that about you through your first marriage of 30 years.”
I felt proud in the moment. She noticed.
Then she looked at me with an intensity that bore right into my soul and said words that left me stunned:
“Judy, that’s not a compliment.”
It was like being jolted awake from a dream realizing that my loyalty was actually toxic.
It was at that moment I understood. I wasn’t just being supportive. I was sacrificing my emotional sanity at the altar of someone else’s complexity.
It was time to ask myself. What was I holding onto? And WHY was I walking on eggshells?
That’s when I made a decision to change my perspective. That decision led to many other life-giving choices.
One of those was writing my book, “Beyond Messy Relationships: Divine Invitations to Your authentic Self. I actually became a client in my own book. So it’s like psychotherapy in story form.
In my recovery from a horrific divorce, I hosted the podcast, “Better Relationships, Better Life” and wrote my second book, “Relationships with Purpose.”
Since the pandemic, I moved away from the medical model of therapy. No longer within the confines of the four walls of a counseling office, I provide innovative therapy in nature. We take the mystery out of the process. Also, I include tailor-fit packages with built-in accountability.
Specifically working with entrepreneurial couples or ambitious women, I created the C.A.L.M. method that provides long-lasting transformation.
Let’s begin your courageous journey. Schedule your Complimentary Clarity Call.
Find out more about Judy’s Professional Credentials.