Be Authentic by valuing yourself
- Do you have a harsh critic inside your head?
- Are you telling yourself things you’d never say to your best friend?
Take deep breaths
Write in a journal
Write an anger letter that you won’t send. (It’s never a good idea to text the difficult person when you’re angry, by the way.) You can later read it to your therapist or an empty chair. You can begin to let go of the bitterness and resentment.
Secondly, we can be authentic by avoiding defensiveness
Be Authentic by avoiding defensiveness
- Take time to consider the opposite of what you’d normally do.
- Learn to be comfortable with silence.
- It takes practice.
- Deep breathing and slowing down is not a natural skill.
- De-escalating and slowing down the accusation/defensiveness dances honors the relationship.
Be Authentic by allowing positive relationships in your life
- Are you trying to prove yourself with them?
- Do you feel that they don’t get you?
- Are you drawn to people who need you to change them? Don’t fall for it.
- It’s time to look for and nurture friendships with positive and encouraging people.
It’s likely I won’t write a book about how to not have messy relationships. But of course, we do want to be authentic and grow “Beyond Messy Relationships.”
Your Next Step
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