Use the Awareness Chart To Navigate Relationships
If you’re struggling to create security , then I want to share with you about the Awareness Chart.
It’s a clarity chart to help you. . .
. . . become aware of relationship patterns when conversations become stressful. When we’re aware of patterns, then we can choose our responses rather than react. In essence, this chart will empower you to co-create a different outcome.
The main idea here is. . .
. . . that this a chart to help get out of confusion mode, especially when our benign conversations quickly go sideways.
At times in our relationships, we’re jolted, confused, and defensive. As a result, we unknowingly create the pursuer/distancer dance. I use the analogy of dances to describe relationship patterns. There’s more about that in my book, Beyond Messy Relationships. Then familiar emotional distance leaves us sad, angry, confused, and cynical.
Here’s why you should check out this chart.
It will help you connect the dots. In other words, You’ll become aware of how you are co-creating the difficulty and stress. We don’t normally recognize our blind spots. But taking time to use this chart as a tool will bring clarity.
Rather than labeling the other as the villain and yourself as the victim, you’ll increase your awareness of the “relationship dance.” You can then choose conscious responses instead of the fight/flight mode. And we all need more confidence and clarity while navigating relationships. Then you’ll have the power to co-create peaceful interactions.
Here’s how you can get clarity from the Awareness Chart.
- When you receive your chart, look it over to get familiar with what you’ll be noticing.
- After you experience tension in your body from a conversation or experience a stressful interaction, take time to reflect.
- Describe the situation
- Name the topic
- What did you want and what did you get?
- What did the other want and what did they get?
- Name your feelings
- After a few entries, notice patterns and be intentional about doing the opposite.
This is the first time I’ve offered this outside of my counseling practice. It’s valued at $37. But for CWLI attendees, it is $7.
* Of course, this resource is not a substitute for professional counseling services.